Daemon and the Annoying Singing Monkey
by blackmage718
Summary: (Fourth Chapter now up!) Daemon is cursed by the presence of the annoying singing monkey. (AKA: Etemon) How will he solve his problem? Go to the Real World of course!
1. Unbearable

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Daemon and the Annoying Singing Monkey

Author's Note: 

Daemon: I like the title, nice and original.

Me: Thanks! ^_^ Now to get on with this. This is a humor fic that I had an idea for awhile ago. It might not be the best humor but it's my first poke at it. Try to enjoy it!

Daemon: And review it too. Because if you don't…I'll sic rabid fan girls on you! Muwahahaha!

The wind blew in torrents outside of the castle. Every so often a guard would get thrown against the window, only to fall down when the wind stopped. But despite all this Daemon still insisted on meditating. Which probably wasn't the best idea, seeing who was living in the room next to him...

"Rain drops keep fallin' on mah head! But that doesn't matter 'cause mah eyes will soon be turnin' read! Do do do do do..."

Daemon opened his eyes and sighed. _He could at least sing another song! _The demon thought. _Any song! Even 'It's a Small World' but that damned song is getting annoying! Why couldn't the vampire move him somewhere else! Anywhere else! I'm sure Puppetmon wouldn't mind..._

The monkey started singing again. "Rain drops keep fallin'! Rain drops keep fallin'! OH! Rain drops keep fallin' on my HEAD!!!!"

That was the last straw! He stormed out of his room and thundered into Myotismon's throne room which was currently hosting hundreds upon hundreds of...

"Fan girls? What the hell?" The demon asked, obviously confused. 

Myotismon had three fan girls sitting on his lap, four others kissing him and the rest waiting not-so-patiently in line. The one at the head of the line was growing impatient.

"Hurry up already! You've kissed him _forty-three_ times already! Get off of him!"

Daemon rolled his eyes and marched through the line. 

"Hey!"

"Watch it buddy!"

"Get back in line!!!"

Finally at the head of the line, he tapped his foot trying to get the vampire lord's attention. 

"Daemon? This is a shock! I never knew you cared about me!" The vampire said, smirking.

"Actually," The demon said, mildly annoyed. "I came about the rooming arrangements. I can't stand living next to Etemon. Every five minutes it's 'Rain drops keep fallin' on mah head!' It's driving me _CRAZY_!!!"

"You know...You do an impression of him pretty well. You two should team up! Call yourselves...Well something! As you can see," Myotismon motioned to the line. "I have little time for this."

Daemon marched through the line again muttering to himself, "No. You never cared about _anyone_ did you? Only yourself. 'Me, me, me, me, me!' Never anyone else not even-" The demon suddenly came to a realization. "That's it! It's so obvious! Why didn't I think of it before?" Chuckling to himself, Daemon opened a portal to the Real World.

~*~

Daemon: My, that was short. 

Me: I know! It's to add suspense! ^_^

Daemon: *Sweat drops* I'm afraid. 

Me: Don't worry. This is gonna be fun! J 

Daemon: Uh-oh…


	2. Retaliation

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Daemon and the Annoying Singing Monkey

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Author's Notes: Thank you much for the reviews, everybody! ^_^ And thank you everyone for wanting me to continue this! Daemon appreciates it too! ^_^ Now, on with the second installment!

The portal opened in a small, suburban part of Wisconsin. Snow fell gently on the ground and trees, making the area look like a snow globe. Small houses lined the streets, their walks fully shoveled and wreaths hanging on each door. One of these houses was Daemon's objective. One of these houses was about to help him solve his problem forever!

"Which one could it be?" He muttered distractedly to himself. "Which one does she live in…?"

He began walking up each of the walks, peaking into houses and cursing when he didn't see anything. He continued this for several minutes before finding the right house. He heard the Digimon theme playing loudly and Myotismon's voice echoing through the house. Squeals of delight followed as he sneaked behind the house.

The fallen snow silenced his footsteps as he walked through the backyard. His feet would crunch on God-knows-what every few steps before he finally reached the right window. He peered into the room. The walls were black and were plastered with pictures of Myotismon and what looked strangely like Wizardmon. Daemon rolled his eyes and tried desperately to open the window. He only succeeded injuring his left hand and cracking a pane of glass.

Daemon tramped back through the yard, to the front door. He silently cursed himself for being less creative and rang the doorbell.

"Coming!" A voice called. Crashes were heard as pounding feet got closer to the door. It finally opened to reveal a girl. Her hair was dirty blonde and hung down to her shoulders. Her eyes shone like sparkling emeralds that lit up her face. She was dressed in black jeans and was donning a black shirt that had a picture of Myotismon on it.

Damn that vampire…The demon thought silently to himself. Legions of followers and he distributes items bearing his face…Arrogant bastard…

Despite her shock, the girl smiled silently at Daemon. "Can I help you?" She asked the demon, slightly puzzled.

The demon nodded. He chuckling quietly to himself and whispered, "Unholy Flame." He held the black and red flame in his hand and pulled the girl close. "If you know what's good for you, Jenny, you'll come with me quietly."

~*~

Daemon: Yay! I get to be my evil self! *Does a bizarre happy dance*

Me: Right…Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Don't worry, Jenny! I won't let Daemon kill you!

Daemon: *In an undertone* That's what you think…


	3. Is this Legal?

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Daemon and the Annoying Singing Monkey

Chapter Three: Is This Legal?

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Authors Notes: Hello again all! My two-month…um, never mind. It's a long break of fan fiction is finally broken. Yay! I'm back and as ready as ever to write this…And actually finish a story!

Daemon: (monotone) Yay…

This chapter may be weird but it's the first time I've written anything Digimon since my last update of anything Digimon related. Sorry if it sucks. And don't worry Jenny. He loves you enough that he won't kill you!

Daemon: As if…I loathe her! I _should _kill her! I should just rebel and take over this fic like Piedmon did in Avalon's story…*Begins muttering death threats and explicit words. *

He won't take over. I promise!

Jenny struggled against the grip of the viral Mega. He only held her closer and pushed her through the doorway of her house. He closed the door behind himself and looked around. 

"This would be a wonderful place to head this operation." He murmured to himself. He began pacing, his hands still clasped around Jenny's wrists. "This girl is the key to free me from the god-awful monkey. The question is…how does one go about his business without getting caught?" 

Jenny felt that if she could she would be sweat dropping profusely as Daemon began ranting incoherently to himself. She followed him across the living room as he continued his pacing. He stopped, finally realizing his one true master plan and pulled Jenny into a hug.

"You realize what we must do know, don't you? We have got to kidnap the representatives from each state and country of the Myotismon-aholics Association! This terrible wrong must be righted! You, my dear, shall be the one to help me right it!" Daemon threw his head back and laughed. 

Jenny poked his right arm, attempting to wrench herself from his grasp and asked, "What do you plan to do? Turn it into the Daemon-aholics Association?"

Daemon froze. The statement sunk in after several minutes in which Jenny rolled her eyes and muttered how much more threatening he had been on the show. He turned to the girl his ice-blue eyes alight with passion.

"That's it! That's the best idea I've ever heard! Will you be willing to be Vice-President?" Daemon asked, letting go of her arm and pulling her into a hug.

"Um…" She tried to ignore the fact he was hugging her and that she was the Wisconsin diplomat of the Myotismon-aholics Association. "S-sure…Why not?" She lied. As long as he didn't kill her or the other representatives there was hope. 

"Really?! Do you know how happy that makes me feel, Jenny?"

"I'd really prefer not to know." She muttered. 

"No matter," The demon said. "This can be the headquarters of our lovely little up rising. I'll be back with my 'So you want to dominate the world?' kit in a bit. Until then…Could you order some sushi?"

Jenny felt the urge to sweat drop again but nodded. Daemon cackled and vanished in a puff of multicolored smoke that was reminiscent of a '70s acid-trip like movie. She dialed the operator and asked for the Association president. 

"Hold on please," The female operator said in a very nasally voice. 

"Hello. You have reached the Association of Maniacal World Dominating Chipmunks, may I help you?" The voice asked, sounding like someone who had just inhaled helium. 

"Maniacal chipmunks?" Jenny asked incredulously as she hung up the phone. "What is this world coming to?"

Several minutes later, in which she contacted the League of Fabulous Hairdressers, Leaping from Tall Cliffs World Expo and the We Have Long Names But That Doesn't Mean That We're Making Up From Anything Association of Men in Denial club she was ready to attack her operator with a blunt object. Having no belief left in her operator, she dialed the local sushi parlor and asked for a delivery. All she could do was wait…

TBC…

Daemon: *Is insanely laughing at the Association names I created*

Heather: ^_^ I updated it!!! Huzzah! Please, please, please review! I want to know that you all still like this! :) 


	4. With a Small Dash of Sanity

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Daemon and the Annoying Singing Monkey

Chapter Four: With a Small Dash of Sanity

The phone call snapped fifteen-year-old Arnia Silil from her trance as the phone rang bitterly in her ears. She put the oozing with cuteness (as so in the immortal words of her best friend) pencil on her writing tablet and turned her music down. She pressed the on button after the third ring and answered it in a sleepy voice.

"Hello? I swear, if this is another prank call about elongating my non-existent manhood I will seriously kill you."

"Arnia? This is Jenny."

"Holy crap!" She exclaimed, now fully awake. "Do you realize how much this call is costing, Jenny? Rom is going to kill me!" 

"Have your uncle send me a bill. This is very important!"

"What? Who has broken loose from what now?" 

"Nothing like that. Only Daemon is bent on destroying the Myotismon-aholics Association and making me its Vice-President," Jenny said, exasperated. 

"Really now? How did this whole thing come about?"

"There is no time! Listen to me," She said, annoyed at her friend's calm voice. "If he succeeds he will have a perfect look at domination."

"I am well aware of that. Not that it would be bad thing…" Arnia said, putting a hand at her chin. "What do I need to do to help?"

"Get here as quick as possible."

"…Jenny, if you failed to remember, I happen to be in the middle of the Pacific…On a tiny island, in the middle of no where. Need you be reminded?" She sighed. "I shall try my best. And Jenny, if you see Dae again…Poke him in the ribs for me."

She hung up the phone and stood up. She rubbed her brown eyes and stretched. This was going to be interesting. How to get to Wisconsin in time to save the world from an insane Viral digimon? She had used up those frequent flier miles her uncle had never bothered to cash in last summer and she was sure no matter how she begged the ticket booth at the airport that her getting a plane ticket to Wisconsin would save the world it wouldn't help. She sighed. It seemed it was time to pick up that favor the Navy owed her.

~*~

Jenny was, to say the least, _very_ pissed off. Okay, perhaps that was an understatement. She had just spent her last bit of money on sushi that the demonic figure sitting at her left was downing like nothing. Demonic wasn't even the proper word, she figured. Demons tended to be threatening and this one was not at all threatening. His personality was that of a teenager and his maturity level was declining every moment. 

He fingered through the kit he had returned to the Digital World for as he picked up the last bit of Maki sushi with his chopsticks. He then turned on the rice balls which Jenny knew weren't going to last much longer. Sure enough, as he finished the guidebook, he finished up the balls of jasmine rice. He closed the manual and turned to Jenny. 

"I think it is time that you lead me to the delegation's meeting place," He said, wiping bits of tuna from his face. "And it is advisable you do so quickly."

Jenny mouthed silently and then a thought hit her. "Wouldn't you much rather meet the one who would be much happier as your Vice-President than me? If I am not mistaken she shall be arriving shortly." _…Arnia…Hurry please._

The demon raised an unseen eyebrow. "Really? Someone who is more fond of me than you are?"

"Yes…In fact," Jenny said, lying to save the delegation. "She would rather happy to do so."

"And when shall she be arriving?"

"…Soon, soon. Don't worry. Just sit tight and eat your sushi…" Jenny said, smiling innocently. 

The demon raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He turned to the cone sushi and opened the sauce for the egg rolls. If the girl was lying…He would have no trouble in disposing of her as quickly and conveniently as possible.

TBC… 


End file.
